Why forgetting about non-drinkers at your gatherings is costing you.
A guide to creating sober inclusive events
Alcohol holds an outsized place in our culture when bringing people together.
Graduations = drinks, weddings = drinks, networking = drinks, funerals = more drinks.
And yet there seems to be a subtle shift happening. 20% of the general population and
27% of Gen Z say they never consume alcoholic beverages.
This doesn’t mean that there haven’t always been people in recovery and people who don’t drink for faith based reasons. Now, it’s just that the non-drinkers are reaching a bigger quorum and it’s time for organisations to take note.
From my own experience and interviews with non-drinkers from across the spectrum, I have collated some tips for creating sober inclusive spaces and events.
Sober Table
Yasmin Hoque recently posted this on LinkedIn:
Not all sober people will want this and some have questioned whether it might be unnecessarily separating people.
However, I think it's a great option. It allows people to be in community with other non-drinkers at an event that might otherwise have been isolating. It allows those who abstain for faith based reasons the opportunity to take photographs without worrying about whether or not the photo will inadvertently feature alcohol. And finally, it means that those that aren’t drinking don’t have to get stuck in the same conversation all night with their drunk seat-mates.
Language
This is an easy one but I’ve started renaming events like “Summer Drinks” to “Summer Social.” It takes the focus off of alcohol and puts the focus on connection.
Thoughtful Hosting
As hosts, we’ve been taught that every guest should have a drink in hand. It’s totally fine to still check in once to see if someone needs a drink but if they've said they’re alright then don’t feel like you have to push it.
Additionally, it’s worth thinking about the structure of the event. If there isn’t anything on the agenda for the gathering, then the focus just becomes on drinking. However, with some thoughtful preparations, you can include a short keynote speech or curated topics for discussion. This means that the focus will be on network building rather than going back to the bar again and again.
Stock up on a range of drinks
At the last work event I went to, we literally ran out of sparkling water. It turns out that everyone was happy to have a reason not to drink on a work night, when they looked around and saw that no one else was drinking.
Being able to easily find a drink that suits you, can be an unexpected relief for sober people. I recently attended a networking event at Coal Office with the most gorgeous mocktails. They made the atmosphere so much more festive and meant that I didn’t feel self conscious.
Just a reminder that some folks in recovery may not want non-alcoholic versions of alcoholic beverages as the taste can still trigger cravings.
Buddy System
For me, 99% of socialising without alcohol has been totally fine. However, there’s always a moment when I walk into a party or work event and see everyone with their glass of wine in hand and feel a little out of place.
One thing that the host can do to help is organise a buddy system, this can be informal, just introducing people as they come in so that they immediately have someone to talk to, or more formalised, where sober people can be paired up on the night and can meet up beforehand if they would like. Knowing you have someone to support you while at an event can make all the difference.
What I love about this idea is that it’s putting supportive relationships at the centre of the event, which will translate to the rest of the gather.
About Selena
I’m Selena and I help organisations create deep connections with their communities and partners, by putting relationships front and centre.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to include sober people in your network, please send me an email or book in a call here.
